


Love Club

by doqeom



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Coming Out, Coming of Age, Established Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Friends to Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, LGBT, M/M, Pining, Pre-Poly, Secret Relationship, Slow Burn, SmallTown, read chap 1 notes !!, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:00:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 14,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25061278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doqeom/pseuds/doqeom
Summary: Imagine living in a town called Heaven. Sounds beautiful, and it is, but not if you're a teenager and theres not a branded store in miles or a dose of good wifi and you're desperate to just be anywhere else.There's a lake in the middle of the forest here, that holds stories of seven boys, all brought together by different kinds of heartache.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le
Comments: 25
Kudos: 44





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this story means a lot to me <3 its the most work ive ever put into a fic, so i hope you enjoy  
> it does contain internalised homophobia, verbal homophobia, mentions of domestic/physical abuse, mentions of panic attacks and strong language throughout !! if there's intense scenes i'll put a tw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donghyuck wanted to ride back to the lake and throw himself in it when a car slowed down beside him - embarrassingly slow - and the driver leaned out the window. 
> 
> "You want a lift?"
> 
> Donghyuck tried his hardest to keep his eyes on the road, he really did, but even the sound of Mark Lee's voice made him want to stare until his eyes burned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this story means a lot to me <3 its the most work ive ever put into a fic, so i hope you enjoy  
> it does contain internalised homophobia, verbal homophobia, mentions of domestic/physical abuse, mentions of panic attacks and strong language throughout !! if there's intense scenes i'll put a tw

The tiny town of Heaven, situated slap bang in the middle of Nowhere, Oregon, is a beautiful place. It's covered in vibrant forests and hills to run around upon, and the town itself is quaint. It's gorgeous to those who don't live there.

Well, most of the adults enjoy it, see it as a good place to raise their kids and it _is_ , until puberty hits and all they want is to run off to the city to pursue a career that will get them nowhere. 

Donghyuck hears the last part every time he visits his grandmother. She was raised in Heaven, and never left, vowing her family would be here for generations. Donghyuck gets that she'd be pissed her only grandchild wanted to get out of this hell hole, but he's sure she'd understand if she was his age and desperate to go somewhere where you're not the only openly gay kid.

He cursed as the pebble hit the water and sunk on impact. He'd been here for what felt like hours, and not a single pebble had bounced along the surface like he knew it was supposed to. Only one, lonely ripple ran across the vast lake, and Donghyuck watched it as he sat down on the gravel beach, overlooking the water. 

He'd stumbled upon this place years ago, and it had become a safe haven, a place seemingly untouched by human life for years.

Donghyuck rested his head in his hands, ignoring the uncomfortable feeling that came with sitting on rocks, and counted down the days in his head until he graduated.

Ten months left of living here and then he was gone. Off to New York where he would be happy and he wouldn't have to think about visiting his grandmother every week just to have her insult him, or having to walk around knowing everyone talks about you even three years later.

He sighed as he checked the phone in his pocket, seeing that it was nearing eight pm. His dad would be back for half past, and it was a good twenty minutes on his bike.

He trudged back into the forest, reminding himself of the trail back by the trees he'd marked with strands of thread, until he found his bike, and pushed it out onto the main road.

He'd really rather be in his own car, but after crashing it a while back, his father seemed determined to drag the project of fixing it up out as long as possible, ensuring Donghyuck wouldn't get to it again before graduation.

He began the cycle home, his legs crying out at one of the uphill climbs, and he thought maybe he'd survive the whole way home without having to interact with anyone this time, but apparently the universe had other ideas.

Donghyuck wanted to ride back to the lake and throw himself in it when a car slowed down beside him - _embarrassingly_ slow - and the driver leaned out the window. 

"You want a lift?"

Donghyuck tried his hardest to keep his eyes on the road, he really did, but even the sound of Mark Lee's voice made him want to stare until his eyes burned. 

"No," he huffed out, glancing at Mark to see the other staring at him with concern scribbled over his features.

"You sure? No offence but you've gone kind of red in the face."

The younger knew that riding a bike uphill wasn't the _only_ reason for his flushed skin. "I'm _fine_ \- go on drive back to swim practice or whatever."

Donghyuck let out a yelp when Mark swerved his truck toward him, and the younger gripped the brakes so fast he almost toppled over the handles. 

"Mark - what the _fuck_!"

He didn't miss the wince Mark made at the curse, and watched as the elder stepped out of the car. 

"I knew I had to shock you into stopping - you're too stubborn to just accept a ride home from a friend."

The word friend hung in the air, making Donghyuck feel like he was being smothered. "Fine," he muttered, clambering off his bike and letting Mark haul it into the back of his truck.

The inside of Mark's truck looked exactly as Donghyuck remembered it - the car previously belonging to Mark's dad - but even with the windows permanently rolled down the air inside was suffocating. He wasn't sure why Mark hadn't started the car yet, looking like he wanted to say something that had been bugging him for a while.

"Have you got your seatbelt on?"

Donghyuck scoffed out a ' _yes_ ' and trained his eyes on the trees outside the window. 

They fell into silence again. 

"Do you want to pick some music?"

Donghyuck rolled his eyes. "It's like a five minute drive - music doesn't matter."

He felt like rolling his eyes all the way to the back of his head when Mark sat for a few minutes, scrolling through his phone to find a song he liked.

The younger tried not to think too hard about how the album Mark had chosen was the last one they listened to together before everything went downhill. He glanced over but Mark didn't seem to realise that as he happily tapped his fingers along on the steering wheel, head swaying from side to side as if this was normal - as if the two of them, here, listening to the Bleachers was normal. As though the past three years was nothing but a bad day between the two.

Donghyuck didn't pause to say thanks for the ride when Mark pulled up in front of his house. He'd never thrown himself out of a car so fast, grabbing his bike and practically running up his driveway.

He vaguely acknowledged Mark shouting after him, something like " _see you around_ ", but Donghyuck didn't want to think about seeing Mark again. He'd done so well to stop thinking about Mark, and all the memories that came with being with the elder.

He stopped to catch his breath once he was inside the garage adjoined to his house. He knew the panic rising in him was stupid - uncalled for, but once he'd started he struggled to stop. 

Donghyuck let the feeling of suffocating wash over him as he sat on the cold floor, wrapping his arms around himself tightly.

He wouldn't cry, however. He'd cried so much when his life spiralled out of control, that Donghyuck didn't think he could ever cry again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you want to scream about nct with me, dm me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/kvncult?s=09) !! (i love making friends<3)
> 
> [spotify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1WpTbA1UbYVtlpFwthUvKL?si=1JzRHdjlRCCyvXUuy0HjOg)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Renjun knew what panic attacks felt like, and this was nothing but his own stupid emotions getting the better of him. His mother's words rang through his head, this is wrong, as he hit a bump in the road, Chenle's bike swerving off into the plants at the side.

Renjun didn't think he'd ever get used to living in Heaven.

He'd only moved here two years ago, and was planning to move back to China for university anyway, so he wasn't planning to get too attatched to the town. 

He had friends, a decent house, a part time job at a dingy restaurant in town and countless places to sit and draw the landscape. The one thing he disliked was having to walk for what felt like hours just to get to the nearest shop.

He'd come to a stop outside Donghyuck's house, already feeling the blisters growing on his heels, but he didn't mind when he saw Donghyuck skipping out the front door, a pile of comic books in his hands.

Renjun frowned when Donghyuck shoved the pile into his hands, but the younger had answered his question before it could leave his lips.

"We're stopping by the antique shop on the way to the diner. I feel bad you haven't seen Harvey all summer - and school starts again, like, tomorrow - and I feel like it's my fault."

Renjun nodded, plastering a smile on his face even though his heart felt like it would leap out of his throat. 

"It's fine - it's not like we're close friends anyway, just partners in biology."

Donghyuck sighed, shaking his head. "Such a shame. If I was you I would have gone for it by now."

Renjun nearly tripped over his own feet. "Donghyuck I'm not -."

The younger laughed, linking his arm through Renjun's. "I _know_ , Junnie. I'm just saying - he's good lookin'."

Renjun nodded, focusing his attention on walking in a straight line and not on the fact his heart felt like it had sat back in his chest, but now it was aching.

They trudged their way into town, and it made Renjun miss the city. Heaven was no where near the population Shanghai had, but seeing some of the locals passing between the tiny shops it had to offer made him homesick.

He smiled at Ms Zhong as he walked past, promising her he'd be at his shift tonight, and trying to ignore the feeling of Donghyuck tugging him towards the antique shop the town had.

"C'mon - I heard that some old lady dropped off paint supplies! If you hurry up I'll buy them for you!"

Renjun was happy to keep walking at a snails pace. Maybe it would take him so long to get there that Harvey's shift would be done and he wouldn't have to see him.

But alas, they arrived in front of the shop in no time at all.

He could see Donghyuck practically buzzing with excitement, but Renjun felt like he was going to be sick.

 _Its fine,_ he tried to tell himself. _You're just friends. He doesn't know, no one knows. There's nothing to know!_

Renjun followed Donghyuck into the shop.

They didn't see him at first, and Renjun let out a breath he didn't know he was holding when Donghyuck got distracted by some books and ran off to the other side of the shop. Renjun focudsed on his breathing and his heart rate as he made his way to the counter at the back. He'd heard from Chenle that if you focussed enough you could slow your heart rate down to the point where you would pass out. He really hoped that would happen soon.

Harvey spotted him before he could reach the counter.

"Renjun- hey!"

He glanced up, feeling like the comic books would slip out of his sweaty hands any second.

Swallowing the anxiety lodged in his throat, he nodded, hoping the smile on his face was good enough to fool him.

Harvey laughed a little, alerting Renjun to the fact that maybe his smile looked like he was in pain, but then the elder was leaning across the counter to take the comics from his hands.

"I haven't seen you in a _while_ \- how have you been?"

Renjun rubbed his hands against his jeans as Harvey shifted through the graphic novels, mumbling that he'd been okay. The blond hummed, a smile gracing his face as he read some of the title's. "I didn't know you were into the classics."

Renjun shrugged. "I'm not. They're Donghyuck's."

Harvey made a sound of acknowledgement, placing them on a shelf behind him for later. He leaned on his elbows, grinning up at Renjun. "Anything else I can do for you?"

Renjun was ready to run out the door when he caught sight of the new tattoo on Harvey's arm - where had he even _got them_? "No - I'm good. I'll probably just-."

"These please!" 

Harvey let his eyes linger on Renjun's face before he turned away to take Donghyuck's items. The Chinese was ready to curl up in a ball, his insides feeling ready to come up out his throat. 

He could practically feel Donghyuck grinning at him as they waited for the items to be processed. He paid, and then Donghyuck was pulling Renjun out of the shop by an arm around his waist.

"Well if anyone's had a glow up in this town it's - are you okay?"

Donghyuck had dropped the paper bag he was carrying in favour of holding Renjun upright. The elder could see some paintbrushes roll out onto the gravel path. 

"I feel a bit sick."

Donghyuck nodded, glancing around. "Want me to take you home?"

Renjun shook his head, nudging Donghyuck off of him. "No - no thank you. I'll just see you tomorrow."

Donghyuck looked hurt, breaking Renjun's heart but he had to be alone right now. He spotted Chenle's bike parked against the side of the Zhong's restaurant, and knowing the younger wouldn't mind him borrowing it, climbed on. 

"Call me to let me know you're okay, alright?"

Renjun nodded, waving at Donghyuck as he peddled away quickly. He repeated the words in his head as a mantra, _this isn't a panic attack_ , as he peddled as fast as his legs would allow. Renjun knew what panic attacks felt like, and this was nothing but his own stupid emotions getting the better of him. His mother's words rang through his head, _this is wrong,_ as he hit a bump in the road, Chenle's bike swerving off into the plants at the side.

Renjun was not a fan of his breath being taken from him so quickly as he hit the ground, but he couldn't say it didn't help clear his head.

He stumbled up after a few minutes, glancing around for Chenle's bike. 

Shaking his head, he limped through the plants to where he could see the wheel of the bike spinning gently. 

Renjun felt his breath taken away from him again as he stepped out onto the clearing near the borrowed bike. 

Renjun was a city boy. He missed the bustle of Shanghai so badly, and this was _nothing_ like the Huangpu river, but the crystal lake in front of him left him with a taste of home. 

He glanced around, checking to see if anyone else was here.

No one.

Renjun's fingers began to twitch, the urge to stay here and sketch running through his veins. It was beautiful. It was quiet. His thoughts calmed down here. Here he didn't have to think about boys or girls or Donghyuck or Harvey or his mom.

Here was nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you want to scream about nct with me, dm me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/kvncult?s=09) !! (i love making friends<3)
> 
> [spotify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1WpTbA1UbYVtlpFwthUvKL?si=1JzRHdjlRCCyvXUuy0HjOg)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What if we find the lake," Jisung piped up. "That'd be pretty cool."
> 
> Chenle frowned, watching his footing. They were wading through a patch Chenle knew from a sad personal experience was littered with nettles, and he didn't think his shorts and ankle socks would offer much protection against the stinging plant. 
> 
> "What lake?"

Chenle groaned as he saw Renjun pushing his bike towards the restaurant, the front wheel hanging off.

"What did you _do_?"

Renjun sighed, holding out a tub containing a slice of lemon drizzle cake. "A cake as compensation until I ask Donghyuck's dad to fix it.

Chenle glanced between his broken bike and the cake. "Fine," he muttered, giving in as he reached for the sweet treat. His brother was in town, so Chenle supposed he could just ask him to drive him around places.

"My mom will be pissed at you for crashing my bike," he said, Renjun flashing him a glare as Chenle spoke through his food. The elder shook his head as they entered the restaurant.

"No she won't I brought her some cake."

Chenle sighed when he realised Renjun's baking _was_ just _that_ good. "Can't believe my mom likes you more than she likes me."

"Kun bakes too and he's her biological favourite. It's all in the cakes."

Renjun laughed as he tried to avoid the greasy hand Chenle reached his way, giving the elder a playful slap on his shoulder.

"You working tonight?"

Chenle shook his head, licking his fingers clean. "Nope. I'm gonna have dinner here with Jisung and then we're gonna hang out."

Renjun nodded, tying his apron around his waist.

"You actually going to pay tonight?"

Chenle stared at him with wide eyes. "Why would I do that? My mom _owns_ this restaurant. She can just take it out my monthly allowance or something. I'll leave you a tip though because you're _my_ favourite."

Renjun grinned at him and Chenle ducked when he tried to ruffle his hair. 

Chenle's mom came out from the kitchen, greeting Renjun in Chinese before she noticed Chenle sitting there. "I thought you said you were going out with Jisung?"

Chenle raised an eyebrow. 

"I am, but we're having dinner here first."

His mom clicked her tongue, gesturing to Renjun to go serve the couple that had just walked in. "You better be paying for that."

Chenle heard Renjun snicker on his way past and he rolled his eyes as his mom pushed his feet off the table.

Before long, Jisung was seated across from him, and the two boys began to tear into the pan-asian feast his mom and her employees had cooked up.

"I heard Kun came home."

Chenle nodded, grinning at Jisung who snorted at the vegetables stuck in his teeth. The younger had been away visiting family in another state nearly all summer, but it wasn't like there was much to catch up on.

"Yeah he got back from travelling last week. All he's done is lay around and eat though and he leaves again in a few days."

Jisung nodded, as though that made perfect sense to him. "When my cousin failed her exams she just lay around."

That peaked Chenle's interest. He began to giggle into his food. "My mom's gonna kill him."

Jisung grinned, a laugh escaping between chewing his rice.

"Anything else for you boys?"

Chenle smiled up at Renjun, who raised an eyebrow at the crumbs on Chenle's chin.

"No thanks - we're gonna go exploring now."

Renjun scoffed at that. "Exploring? At _your_ age? _Here_?"

Chenle frowned, opening his mouth to bite back at the sarcastic tone Renjun had used, but Jisung was already out of his seat, reaching over to take Chenle's cutlery from his hands. "Okay, that's all we're gonna go now thank you Mr Renjun."

The elder of the two didn't complain as Jisung dragged him out of the restaurant, knowing his mom would throw a fit if he made a scene. 

"Mr Renjun? Really?"

Jisung shrugged once he'd let go, and the two began to head off in what Chenle thought could have been west. "I know he's your friend but to me he's the scary foreigner who works for your mom."

The Chinese frowned, trying to work out how someone could find Renjun scary. "Really? Don't you both work at the school library? Would a scary person work at _our_ school library?"

"Renjun is terrifying - he never smiles when stacking books," Jisung said, his eyes wide as he glanced at Chenle.

The elder laughed, smothering it with his hand when Jisung gave him a shove. 

"Where are we heading tonight then?"

The two had been walking for a good twenty minutes, the sun lowering in the sky. Chenle shrugged, the end-of-summer breeze beginning to tug at his clothes.

"What if one day we actually find something good, though."

Chenle gasped dramatically. "What about that time we found all those mushrooms when I fell down a hill? A stroke of amazing luck I'd say."

Jisung groaned. "You're still into mushrooms? Just because your mom pays for unlimited data you don't need to keep wasting it on something like tik tok."

The elder narrowed his eyes, pointing an accusing finger at Jisung. "You'll see. One day this town will actually get good wifi and then you'll discover the incredible world that is social media."

Jisung shook his head, making a vague gagging noise. "No thank you. I've seen what it's done to you."

The younger laughed as Chenle shoved him forward, spinning him in the process. They continued on in the direction Jisung had ended up facing.

"What if we find the lake," Jisung piped up. "That'd be pretty cool."

Chenle frowned, watching his footing. They were wading through a patch Chenle knew from a sad personal experience was littered with nettles, and he didn't think his shorts and ankle socks would offer much protection against the stinging plant. 

"What lake?"

He could hear Jisung a few steps behind him curse as he hit his head on a tree branch.

"You know - the lake. My grandpa says when his grandparents moved here they stayed in a different town, but they used to come to the lake here to pray. Said it was sacred, like, for good luck! Oh! Maybe you could wish for a new bike!"

Chenle threw him a sour expression. "I don't need a new bike. Renjun's friend Donghyuck's dad will fix it for cake."

"For cake?"

"Please you _have_ to become friends with Renjun his baking is amazing. And anyway - why would a town like Heaven have a sacred lake?"

Jisung had caught up to him now, so Chenle could see him shrugging his shoulders. "It's gotta be called Heaven for some reason."

"Yeah cause the idiot who settled here thought it was luxury until wifi and cell signals were invented."

"Were they invented or discovered? Did they not have those when the town began?"

Chenle scoffed. "Obviously they didn't. Oh! Wouldn't it be cool if we found more mushrooms?"

Jisung was prevented from answering when he stepped out from the patch of plants and right into water.

Chenle had grabbed his arm with his spiderman reflexes before the younger could topple all the way over and submerge himself in the lake they'd arrived at. 

"Holy shit."

"It's the magic lake. We were just talking about it this is so weird."

The two stared, Jisung hardly noticing the water in his sock as he watched ripples run across the lake. "Should we make a wish?"

"I wish to find more mushrooms."

Jisung glared at him as Chenle hauled him back a few steps until his foot was fully out of the water. "You shouldn't have wasted it on something stupid like mushrooms."

Chenle gaped at him. "Oh really? Mushrooms are actually very important to the food chain-" Chenle scoffed at the bored look on Jisung's face. "If my wish is so stupid then what's yours?"

Jisung thought for a few seconds before closing his eyes. There was an awkward pause before he opened them again. "If i tell you it won't come true."

"That's bullshit. Not like it will work anyway."

Jisung shrugged, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "You don't know that."

Chenle caught the way Jisung was avoiding his gaze. "Somehow I don't really believe in a magic lake."

"Okay well you should."

"Why?"

"Maybe the lake will go mushroom hunting with you and then I won't have to."

Chenle was so tempted to shove Jisung back into the lake for insulting his mushrooms, but something about the still surface made him back off from that. Just this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you want to scream about nct with me, dm me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/kvncult?s=09) !! (i love making friends<3)
> 
> [spotify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1WpTbA1UbYVtlpFwthUvKL?si=1JzRHdjlRCCyvXUuy0HjOg)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaemin shrugged, thumbing at the cross around his neck. "I believe in a lot of things but a magic lake that i've not heard of from anyone other than your ill grandpa and thing 1 and thing 2-"
> 
> Jisung frowned at that. 
> 
> "- somehow it doesn't stand out to me as sacred."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mentions of implied physical abuse (none actually happens in this chapter, though.)

Jisung knew the second he walked through his front door, Jaemin would be on at him for his single soaked shoe.

He didn't expect to see his uncle sitting in the living room.

The man nodded his head at Jisung but other than that continued on with his eyes glued to the quiz show on tv.

Jisung hopped through the hallway to find Jaemin in the kitchen, and the elder frowned when he saw the soggy sock on Jisung's left foot. 

"Please tell me that's just water."

Jisung nodded, his face splitting into a grin as he sat down at the little round table in the kitchen. "We found the lake!"

He watched as Jaemin turned back to his cooking. "What lake?"

Jisung frowned. Could he really be the only one who knew about it? "You know - the sacred lake grandpa's always going on about."

He heard Jaemin intake a sharp breath as he switched off the gas, letting whatever he was cooking begin to simmer down. He turned around, lips pursed as he leaned against the countertop.

"Jisung... your grandpa has dementia. We don't know whether the lake is real or he made it up. You probably just stepped in a big puddle."

Jisung shook his head. "No - I mean I know he's not well, but the lake actually exists! Me and Chenle found it."

Jaemin raised an eyebrow. "Okay so the lake exists but there's no way its magic."

The younger huffed, tossing his sock into the laundry basket. "You don't know that."

Jaemin shrugged, thumbing at the cross around his neck. "I believe in a lot of things but a magic lake that i've not heard of from anyone other than your ill grandpa and thing 1 and thing 2-"

Jisung frowned at that. 

"- somehow it doesn't stand out to me as _sacred_."

It looked like Jaemin was about to say more, but when his dad called out his name, Jaemin startled, beginning to scoop the pasta he'd made into a bowl, and Jisung watched as he spooned his famous sauce onto it.

He stood up and reached for a fork, but Jaemin swatted his hand away, muttering something about how he'd already had dinner.

Jisung knew he'd crack and make him a bowl anyway, so he began to head upstairs, content with waiting. 

He winced when he heard complaining from the living room, knowing that sadly whenever his uncle was here all he did was drink beer, watch tv and eat burgers from the diner. 

He hurried upstairs faster, hoping he wouldn't have to hear anything worse than just complaints.

Settling down at the end of his bed, Jisung let his mind wander as he began to bounce a ball against the wall, catching it in his hands when it bounced back.

It couldn't have been a coincidence that after seventeen years of living here he discovers the so called Lake of Heaven, after bringing it up in random conversation.

He knows its unlikely, but he begins to wonder if maybe the lake will make his wish come true.

His door creaks open after ten more minutes of mindlessly bouncing the ball back and forth, and he catches it in his hands, letting it roll off on the floor as he shuffles over to make a space for Jaemin.

The elder holds out a bowl of pasta, two forks in his hands, and Jisung smiles warmly, trying to portray how grateful he is through his expression.

Jaemin smiles back, though Jisung can tell he's hurting again.

No words are shared between the two as they dig in, and Jisung hopes his uncle drives off again as soon as possible. Maybe he won't come back this time.

Once the pasta was done, the two sat in peaceful silence, Jaemin's head on Jisung's shoulder.

"What if we went back to Washington and stayed with my mom?"

Jaemin laughed sourly at that. "No offence but I hate her."

Jisung smiled sadly, trailing his eyes over the glowing stars on the wall. "Me too. I'm not a big fan of her boyfriend either, I mean - what kind of a name of Dave?"

Jaemin was giggling now, and Jisung glanced at his face, glad to see no marks other than creases under his eyes from laughing. 

"You excited for school tomorrow?"

The younger felt it when Jaemin shook his head. "After last year? I'm never gonna be excited to go back to that place again."

"Not even to see Jeno Lee?"

Jisung had hoped to make Jaemin smile again but the elder was silent. Jisung glanced down to see Jaemin staring at the wall. 

"Jae?"

"We'll have to repaint your walls soon, the colour's fading now."

Jisung watched as Jaemin stood up, tugging his jumper down where it had creased as he picked up the dishes needing to be cleaned. He stopped to lean down, pressing his lips to Jisung's hair for a brief moment before he went to leave the room. 

"Get some sleep, yeah? These are your last two years of high school you have to study well."

Jisung nodded, trying to smile as Jaemin nudged the door closed with his hip. It clicked shut.

Jisung sat for a while, trying to work out why talking about Jeno Lee had suddenly become a topic Jaemin wasn't a fan of. 

He shrugged it off after a while, assuming the elder was just worried about facing his classmates. He climbed into bed after making sure to make a wish at the faint outline of the moon rising in the sky. He hoped Jaemin would be happy this year, and that he'd put himself first for once. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you want to scream about nct with me, dm me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/kvncult?s=09) !! (i love making friends<3)
> 
> [spotify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1WpTbA1UbYVtlpFwthUvKL?si=1JzRHdjlRCCyvXUuy0HjOg)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hello," he murmured, and Jaemin thought that Jeno's voice reminded him of the water. If the lake ever called out to him in the same lull that Jeno spoke with, Jaemin was sure he'd walk right in until he was submerged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> references to physical abuse, but again none occurs in this chapter

Leaving the house at night wasn't something Jaemin usually did. It had become a routine this summer, but that night felt different. It wasn't just that it was the beginning of September, making the night air feel colder as he tugged his cardigan tighter, or that it was the last day of summer and he'd miss the lie-ins. Mostly it was that he was worried. Worried about leaving Jisung in the house alone with his drunk father.

 _Jisung will be fine_ , he told himself. His father was currently passed out in the living room, and Jaemin wouldn't be gone for long anyway. If anything _did_ happen, Jaemin knew Jisung had kept the ladder propped outside against his window for the past few years so he could sneak out to stargaze with Chenle. 

He distracted himself by counting the constellations he could see in the inky night sky as he walked, wishing he'd worn something thicker than an old cardigan. 

Jaemin knew the trail like the back of his hand. He went out through the garden at the back of his house, followed the natural path into the forest then continued on south until he was there.

He stopped at one point to help a frog off the road he cut across - the only route out of Heaven - in case any late night drivers were out, before continuing on through the forest on the other side.

Jaemin hadn't expected him to already be there when he arrived.

Jeno Lee was sprawled out on the gravel beach, his fingers touching the water of the lake as it lapped against the shore. He clearly hadn't heard Jaemin approach, as he continued to hum whatever tune was in his head.

He stopped humming when Jaemin sat down next to him, opting to sit up and smile warmly at the younger instead.

"Hello," he murmured, and Jaemin thought that Jeno's voice reminded him of the water. If the lake ever called out to him in the same lull that Jeno spoke with, Jaemin was sure he'd walk right in until he was submerged.

Jaemin chose to lay his head on Jeno's shoulder rather then respond, and he felt a warm arm wrapped around him before long as Jeno began to stroke his fingers through Jaemin's hair.

They sat like that for a while, watching the water lap against the soles of their shoes. 

"It's the last day of summer. Or I guess technically it's already over."

Jaemin hummed in acknowledgment as he felt Jeno's chin resting on his head.

"Is everything alright?"

The younger knew this was why he loved Jeno. Truth be told it was one of a thousand reasons why he loved Jeno Lee; the fact that he knew when something was wrong. Sometimes, Jeno knew something was wrong with Jaemin before he did, and all it took for Jaemin to break down and release his worries was an eye smile and a kiss.

He shook his head.

Jeno shuffled around, and Jaemin sat up to face him properly.

"He came home."

Jeno looked puzzled for a few seconds before realisation dawned on his face, and Jaemin saw his eyes begin to rake over Jaemin's exposed skin. "Did he-."

Jaemin shook his head, wrapping his fingers around Jeno's wrist. "No. Just words, nothing bad."

"Words are bad, Jaem. _He's_ bad. You should have called me and I would have told my dad he was back in town."

Jaemin hated himself for the fact he cared. That the idea of Jeno's dad - the Sheriff - taking his only parent away scared him, even if most of the time his father wasn't even there. Jaemin's dad probably couldn't even be considered a parent with all he'd done, but Jaemin felt that putting him in prison was still wrong, after all these years that it would be his fault if his father was arrested. He hated that part of him. 

He shook his head again, biting at his bottom lip to stop it trembling. "Jeno it's not - it's not as easy as that."

Jaemin hated the frown that took over Jeno's features. "Jaemin he's a horrible man. He's hurt you so many times - it doesn't matter whether it's physical or not."

Another reason why Jaemin loved Jeno. He cared with every fibre of his being. The younger moved his fingers from Jeno's wrist to his palm, threading their fingers together.

"Jeno... if he hurts me or Jisung in any way you will be the first to know."

Jeno hesitated, his eyes roaming across Jaemin's face. Eventually he nodded, and Jaemin smiled, leaning in to press his lips against the elder's briefly. The way that Jeno chased after him when Jaemin pulled away made his heart beat erratically in his chest, but Jaemin had come to talk.

"School starts back tomorrow."

Jeno nodded, the puzzled expression returning to his face. Jaemin continued, "I know how this town talks, I've experienced it first hand, and I don't want that for you."

The puzzled look edged into a frown again and Jeno opened his mouth to talk but Jaemin silenced him with a shake of his head. 

"I want you to avoid me."

Jeno looked like he might cry. "Jaemin-."

"We'll be like we have been all this time - you with your friends and me with Jisung, okay? We can come here to talk, and it will be different once we graduate, but high school in this town is not a good place. I don't want you to experience what I've experienced."

Jeno's face hardened, and Jaemin felt a spark of fear jolt through him.

"Who was it? Who said something to you or- or hurt you?"

Jaemin shook his head again, catching his lip between his teeth as he blinked away the stinging behind his eyes. "It doesn't matter. What matters is that you don't experience the same thing or I will never forgive myself."

"Why is loving someone such a terrible thing to do?"

Jeno had his head buried in the junction between Jaemin's shoulder and neck, his words muffled into Jaemin's cardigan. Jaemin rubbed at his eyes with one hand, the other tracing circles onto the back of Jeno's letterman jacket.

"I don't know Jen... it'll be different someday, okay?"

Jeno nodded, and Jaemin let out a shaky breath when he felt tears soaking into his cardigan.   
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry :((  
> they havent broken up i promise !! <3
> 
> if you want to scream about nct with me, dm me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/kvncult?s=09) !! (i love making friends<3)
> 
> [spotify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1WpTbA1UbYVtlpFwthUvKL?si=1JzRHdjlRCCyvXUuy0HjOg)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was when Jeno entered his mandatory art class that he felt sick for a different reason. Jeno was a sports kid - always had been, always would be - but in order to raise attainment at his school, he was required to take at least one arts subject a year, ending him up here.
> 
> Jeno had been sat next to one of the prettiest boys he'd ever seen in his life.

Jeno hadn't slept much when his alarm went off at six am, his eyes already open and staring at the ceiling above his bed. Today would be normal. It would be like before summer - when he and Jaemin didn't talk, just shared glances in class and quick make-outs in the locker room. But that was before Jeno had realised he was in love with the other. Over summer they hadn't gone a day apart, Jeno spending often days on end at Jaemin's house when his cousin was away in Washington. Today would be like they'd just gone back in time to last year. 

He was still staring at the ceiling when his alarm went off again ten minutes later. He heard his door open and it was a mere few seconds before his bed sheets were pulled off of him, his big brother looming over him. 

"Get up - I have work so if you want a lift hurry your ass up."

He nodded, shoving Doyoung out of his way as he staggered to the bathroom. 

Jeno was glad he didn't look like he'd been crying and then thinking and then crying and then thinking again for the past six hours or so, with the occasional break inbetween where he'd fall asleep for a while.

He was thankful his mom had already made breakfast for him, leaving a quick kiss on her cheek before hurrying to leave. Doyoung was already in his car - an old run-down second hand from their dad - hand repeatedly hitting the horn as a sign for Jeno to hurry up.

"Gee," he muttered, climbing into the passenger seat and slamming the door closed after him. "What's got you in such a shit mood?"

Doyoung hit the back of Jeno's head playfully, scoffing as he started up the car. "Got an early shift at the diner even though Taeil and I got drunk last night."

Jeno laughed, noticing the dark circles under his brother's eyes, and decided that if he just imagined Doyoung depressed at the diner all day it would take his mind off of Jaemin.

"Me and Mark might stop by for lunch."

Doyoung winced. "Really? Please don't embarrass me."

Jeno scoffed at this, giggling when Doyoung let a tired laugh slip from his lips.

Pulling up at school was normal, Doyoung shoving him off when Jeno leaned in for a goodbye kiss on the cheek making him laugh. He met up with Mark and his friends outside the school gates. It hadn't been long since he'd seen them, but he'd made up excuses to miss almost every party to spend time with Jaemin instead.

Walking through the halls of his high school didn't make Jeno nauseous, or make him want to go home. Unlike most he enjoyed being here, usually. This year knowing he had to avoid Jaemin suddenly made his school seem depressing.

His first few classes went by perfectly fine, Jeno not seeing Jaemin once, but that made him nauseous too. Knowing Jaemin's dad was in town always made Jeno feel sick to his stomach. 

It was when Jeno entered his mandatory art class that he felt sick for a different reason. Jeno was a sports kid - always had been, always would be - but in order to raise attainment at his school, he was required to take at least one arts subject a year, ending him up here.

Jeno had been sat next to one of the prettiest boys he'd ever seen in his life.

No offence to the male population of Heaven, but there were hardly any 'pretty' boys here, most at his school were sporty, leading to them being more of the handsome type in Jeno's eyes. When he'd met Jaemin a few years back it had felt like Jeno's senses were on fire, his palms sweating and his heart at a hundred miles an hour at how beautiful he was.

That was how he was reacting right now, but this time it _was_ wrong. He had a boyfriend, albeit a secret one, but Jeno couldn't even tear his eyes away to look at the canvas in front of him or the teacher up front.

He rubbed his hands on his jeans, swallowing even though his throat was dry and forcing himself to focus on something else, to think about literally anything else.

"Hello."

Jeno felt dizzy. 

He turned his head back around, positively melting at the honey that dripped from this boy's voice. "Hi," he managed to choke out.

The boy had a smile on his face that made Jeno almost positive that he was laughing on the inside at how stressed Jeno looked. 

"Do you need some help with the paints? You looked like you wanted to ask me something."

Jeno was ready to crawl up in a hole somewhere, preferably never having to interact with this boy again. He nodded his head a little. "I'm not really an artist."

The boy laughed out loud at this and Jeno actually thought he might faint. 

He reasoned with himself in his head that this was normal, someone reaching over you a little to help sort out your palette of paints while explaining the lesson. What wasn't normal was not being able to hear said person explaining the lesson because your peanut brain was too busy thinking about how gorgeous his accent was.

The boy leaned back, and the thoughts rushing around Jeno's head quietened enough for him to hear the boy speak. "This lesson's mostly about colour theory, so I can help you with that. I think we're starting with still life this year. You know what that is?"

Jeno shook his head. 

The boy nodded, a small smile on his face. "That's okay, we'll be getting a booklet about all the topics we're going to cover. I took this class last year but there's nothing above it that the school can offer so I'm just redoing it."

Jeno's jaw fell open. "You must be some kinda prodigy."

The pretty boy couldn't help giggling at that. "Not at all, I just used to paint with my grandma when I was younger back home."

"Back home?"

The boy nodded, beginning to squeeze some paint onto a palette. "I'm from Shanghai."

That explained the accent. "Can I ask what your name is?"

The boy paused, glancing up at Jeno. "Renjun. Huang Renjun."

Jeno was convinced one of his grandparents gods they worshipped had descended from the heavens to personally torment him. "That's a really nice name."

Renjun giggled, but he'd begun to glance around as though he was suddenly uncomfortable. "Thanks. You're Jeno right? You're on the basketball team with Chenle."

Jeno nodded, his heart swelling with pride, and the hesitance in him at Renjun's rapid glances calming when he noticed it was probably just because the teacher approached them to hand out booklets. 

"That I am, yeah. You a fan?"

Renjun shrugged. "Not really but I usually come to the games. To see Chenle, obviously."

Jeno nodded. "He's one of our best players."

Renjun grinned, opening his mouth to say something else before the teacher quietened them down with a wave of his hands. Mr Lee directed a playful glare at Jeno and Renjun before he began to talk. 

"Now that I finally have all of your attention - welcome back to another year in the art department. Booklet's have been handed out so just follow along with the first lesson typed up in there, come to me if you need anything, and please try to keep the volume down, thanks."

Jeno felt disappointed when he turned back to see Renjun with his earphones now plugged in, but his heart skipped a beat (which he didn't appreciate) when Renjun looked back at him, offering him an earphone. Jeno shimmied his chair closer, the wire not being long enough, and moved his canvas and supplies with him.

This felt wrong on so many levels, and Jeno kept thinking _Jaemin, Jaemin, Jaemin,_ but there was no harm in just listening to music with someone, was there? It could simply be two new friends listening to songs in art class. 

Jeno tried his best to focus on his artwork, ignoring the way his knee was pressed against Renjun's. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you want to scream about nct with me, dm me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/kvncult?s=09) !! (i love making friends<3)
> 
> [spotify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1WpTbA1UbYVtlpFwthUvKL?si=1JzRHdjlRCCyvXUuy0HjOg)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He'd started to think about it again. Recently, with his many free days over summer, Mark had had lots of time to think. He'd gone to get his truck fixed up by Donghyuck's dad, and had seen a framed photo of said boy's mother hanging on the wall, sending Mark's memories flooding back to him. He'd been just as good as pushing them to the back of his mind as he knew Donghyuck had, but it had always been easy for Mark to get distracted.

Mark reckoned that swimming was the perfect sport to take your mind off things. Even for him, who had been swimming all his life, you had to always keep your mind steady, focusing on moving forward and controlling your breathing, so it was easy to block out unwanted thoughts.

He had pulled himself up and out of the pool to sit on the edge, catching his breath properly, so now his thoughts were free to swirl around his head again. He stared at the ripples running across the water as other members of his swim team got in their daily practice, and kicked his ankles back and forth, running things over repeatedly in his mind.

He'd started to think about it again. Recently, with his many free days over summer, Mark had had _lots_ of time to think. He'd gone to get his truck fixed up by Donghyuck's dad, and had seen a framed photo of said boy's mother hanging on the wall, sending Mark's memories flooding back to him. He'd been just as good as pushing them to the back of his mind as he knew Donghyuck had, but it had always been easy for Mark to get distracted.

His mind had begun to bring up memories from three years ago, and Mark was glad when a presence made themselves known next to him, thankful for the distraction. 

Anna had tossed him a towel, a small smile on her face as she sat down next to him, her fingers brushing his on the edge of the pool. 

"You were really good today."

Mark let out a laugh, and he hoped she didn't notice how hollow it had sounded. "You say that everyday."

Anna shrugged, her light hair falling over her shoulders with the movement. "It's true, you've always been amazing at swimming."

Mark let himself fall into the normality that was him and his girlfriend, smiling warmly as she pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, and he forced himself to ignore the distant uneasiness in his stomach. 

"I'm gonna have to head off to extra cheer practice," she paused to roll her eyes but Mark knew how happy the sport made her, "so we can't hang out today."

Mark nodded, muttering some excuse about having to do homework anyway. Anna pushed herself up, taking Mark's towel to dry the water off her ankles and heading off, blowing him a kiss as she left.

The boy sat for a few more minutes before hauling himself up, knowing that if he was going to think, his school pool really wasn't the place to do it. 

Once Mark was dressed back into jeans and a jumper he headed off home, a few blocks from school before dumping his stuff in the passenger seat of his truck. His mom never let him drive it to school, demanding that an athlete shouldn't have to drive a few streets when he could simply walk instead, but driving was another thing that helped Mark postpone the racing thoughts in his head.

One thing that definitely shocked him enough for him to stop thinking about the past was almost hitting Donghyuck Suh with his truck.

"That's the second time in three days you've almost run me over - I'm starting to sense a pattern here Lee," Donghyuck growled, a frown etched onto his features when Mark jumped out of the car to check that he was alright.

"Shit I'm-" Mark winced. "Are we not even on first name basis anymore?"

Donghyuck glared at him. "Anyone that tries to run me over _once_ doesn't even get last name basis - you're on thin fucking ice."

Mark let a nervous laugh slip, and he noticed Donghyuck was still glaring at him. 

"Why were you in the middle of the road anyway?"

Donghyuck shrugged. "Not my fault I'm so used to this road being empty as hell. This is like a _ghost town_ why would I expect you to be driving down it? You just have really bad timing."

Mark scoffed. "So it's my fault you were crossing a road where it curves at it's _blind spot_ because you just _assumed_ it would be empty?"

Donghyuck nodded, a crease still prominent between his eyebrows. 

"What were you doing out here anyway Hyuck?"

Mark regretted it the second Donghyuck flinched at the nickname. 

"First off - don't call me that. You don't get the _right_ to call me that anymore. Secondly - it's none of your business. What about you? Aren't you supposed to be at your beloved swim practice?"

The elder rolled his eyes. "I'm not allowed to know but you get the right?"

Donghyuck nodded, hands on his hips now. "You owe me. You've tried to hit me with your car _twice_."

"The second time was an _accident_."

Donghyuck stared at him, head tilted as he waited for an answer. 

Mark sighed, kicking at some gravel on the road with his foot. "I'm driving somewhere to just think."

The younger raised an eyebrow. "You? Thinking? My God I must have missed more over the years than I thought. You actually gained some brain cells this is amazing."

Mark glared at him, Donghyuck simply retaliating with a playful smirk. He shoved his hands in his pockets, bringing his shoulders up to near his ears and Donghyuck thought the pose made Mark look like he was twelve years old again.

"I've had a lot on my mind lately. There's a lake I go to - I don't know if you've been there - to just think sometimes. It's clean enough to swim in, so sometimes I do."

Mark had dropped his head to avoid eye contact with Donghyuck, and when he looked back up Donghyuck's face was one littered with an expression of disgust, but Mark thought he saw something similar to pity in his eyes. 

"Swimming in a lake sounds disgusting. There's probably all sorts of shit in there."

Mark rolled his eyes. "This is why I didn't want to tell you."

He turned on his heel, deciding he'd embarrassed himself enough that it was time to leave, and almost jumped out of his skin when Donghyuck's hand wrapped around his elbow. 

The brief familiarity of Donghyuck's hands spread warmth throughout Mark's body in an instant, but Donghyuck let go almost as soon as he held on, just long enough to get Mark's attention.

"I'll come with you. I was on my way there when you nearly ran me over."

Mark blinked a few times, processing the statement over in his head. "You'd willingly get in my truck? On Saturday you _really_ seemed against it."

Donghyuck laughed quietly, rolling his eyes. "Yeah well it definitely isn't my favourite thing in the world. It looks insanely old and I really wouldn't trust the person driving it."

Mark didn't know whether to laugh or feel offended at that statement, so he waited for Donghyuck to continue.

"You can swim in your probably infested lake and think and I can sit on my nice, clean, dry land and work on my shitty essay."

The elder nodded, climbing into the drivers seat of his truck. He usually would only go to the lake alone, let his thoughts run when he was by his self, but the idea of Donghyuck being there to keep him company made Mark feel calm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you want to scream about nct with me, dm me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/kvncult?s=09) !! (i love making friends<3)
> 
> [spotify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1WpTbA1UbYVtlpFwthUvKL?si=1JzRHdjlRCCyvXUuy0HjOg)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But Donghyuck felt a small spike of anger in him aswell. After his mother passed away his dad took jobs out of the city constantly, and Donghyuck knew it was because he was the spitting image of his mother. He left him to deal with his own grief - no father should do that - and how could he say they'd just be normal? Normal was Donghyuck three years ago, when both his parents were here, and he had his best friend Mark, and he wasn't outed to his whole school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, johnny is donghyucks dad <3

"Hey kid - where've you been?"

Donghyuck looked up from where he'd been kicking his shoes off in the hallway, admittedly surprised to see his dad home so early. His dad worked out of town most days, so Donghyuck never usually worried about being home on time, other than to make dinner and leave some in the fridge.

"Oh - uh - I was out with a friend."

What was even weirder about his dad being home early was the fact that there was food layed out on the table. It was food from the diner, but Donghyuck supposed it was better than nothing.

His dad smiled awkwardly, nodding. "That Renjun?"

Donghyuck ran over the potential ways this conversation could go. His dad hadn't been the best over the years, but he remembered the way he'd threatened to ruin Mark's life after he'd done the same to Donghyuck. The boy had made sure Mark didn't talk to him at the lake, even if the elder had seemed like he really wanted to at one point. Donghyuck had no intention of getting close to Mark again, no matter how hard his heart told him to fix at least one thing in his life.

He plastered a grin on his face and nodded. "Yeah just working on some stuff for school."

Mr Suh nodded at this, and Donghyuck could see he still had grease on his hands when he rubbed them together, a nervous tick Donghyuck had inherited. He walked over slowly, sitting himself down at the table across from his dad.

"I know it's been a while since we've been to the diner so I just got your old order."

Donghyuck felt like rubbing his own hands together when he saw the food. He and his dad hadn't been to the diner together in three years - Donghyuck hadn't wanted to go without both of his parents - and so the kids meal with the strawberry milkshake choked him up a little.

"Yeah it's been a while."

They ate in silence, but Donghyuck could feel his dad glancing at him every few minutes.

"Is something up?" He asked as he dipped a fry into the ketchup his dad had put out for him. His dad had never been a fan of ketchup, so it surprised Donghyuck to see he'd bought sashays from the diner just for him. It surprised Donghyuck that his dad even remembered.

The man nodded, chewing slowly before swallowing the big bite of burger he'd taken. "Yeah... I guess this is kind of a celebratory meal."

Donghyuck tilted his head, confusion settling over his features. "Why? Did something happen with your job?"

His dad nodded, a small smile on his face. "Yeah. I'm gonna be moving back here for work now. I got a pretty big job lined up woking on renovating a house - not my usual style but work's work," Donghyuck hadn't realised how much he'd missed it when his dad let out a happy laugh. "It means I'll get to be here with you more. Means we can be normal again."

Donghyuck felt a happiness run through him, even if it was layered with anger.

He was confused at himself. His dad would be home more - great! He wouldn't have to list his grandmother as his legal guardian anymore, or go to church with her, and they could be like a normal father and son would be, doing father and son things.

But Donghyuck felt a small spike of anger in him as well. After his mother passed away his dad took jobs out of the city constantly, and Donghyuck knew it was because he was the spitting image of his mother. He left him to deal with his own grief - no father should do that - and how could he say they'd just be normal? Normal was Donghyuck three years ago, when both his parents were here, and he had his best friend Mark, and he wasn't outed to his whole school.

He stared at the fry hanging limp and cold in his hand.

"Cool," he muttered.

Donghyuck felt like real shit when he saw the smile slipping on his dad's face. "Hyuck... I know it won't be _normal_ normal, it probably won't be for a very long time, if ever - but I want to be here for you, kid. This is me trying. I know I haven't been here but now I _am_."

He placed the fry back down on the packet, all his hunger gone. "Yeah, no, it's cool just... I have homework, so."

He saw his dad frowning down at his food as Donghyuck scraped his chair back, picking up the milkshake before he started climbing the stairs.

The part of him that loved his dad and wanted them to be close again couldn't seem to override the part of him that wanted a _'sorry'_ for abandoning him. For leaving him to deal with high school and the loss of his mother and accepting his sexuality and losing his best friend. His dad had been there for the last one, but only for a few days. Donghyuck felt that maybe if his dad said sorry that the love he had for his father could overrule the broken part of their relationship, and maybe they'd finally be normal again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you want to scream about nct with me, dm me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/kvncult?s=09) !! (i love making friends<3)
> 
> [spotify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1WpTbA1UbYVtlpFwthUvKL?si=1JzRHdjlRCCyvXUuy0HjOg)   
>  [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/chenjaem)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Jaemin."
> 
> The name sounded vaguely familiar, but on God if it wasn't the prettiest name Renjun had ever heard. 
> 
> "Jaemin," he tried it out on his tongue. 
> 
> He loved the sound of it. "I'm Renjun."

Renjun supposed school in Heaven wasn't too bad. His classes were fairly easy - he'd always been smart if he was being honest - and things like math and languages and art had always come easy to him. 

Feelings? Not so much.

He was currently hauled up in one of the art rooms his school had, chewing slowly on a sandwich he'd made last minute that morning. Chenle was currently spending his lunches practicing with his basketball team, and Donghyuck was off auditioning for the Christmas show, which left Renjun alone. 

It wasn't like he minded - the friends he'd made here were a bit much for him sometimes. Maybe by default, he could hang out with Chenle's friend Jisung at the library, but the boy always seemed to shake like a leaf around him, despite being nearly twice Renjun's height.

He glanced over the sketches he'd made recently for his end of year art project, laid out in front of him on the table. Renjun had always been one to plan beforehand, making sure he was prepared for projects and exams. 

He wished he could lay his feelings out on a bar chart and they'd make sense enough for him to decipher which was the right route to take.

Feelings hadn't meant much to him since the first time he'd told his mother he had a crush on a boy. She'd looked at him like he'd grown two heads, telling him to stop copying things his sisters said. He remembered being confused at the small age of eight, asking why he couldn't kiss a boy like his sisters could, only being told to stop thinking about it. Boys weren't supposed to like boys. Renjun would grow up, study well and marry a girl.

His eldest sister had told him it was okay for him to like boys and girls, as long as he didn't tell their parents. She'd said they were old-fashioned and didn't understand, but Renjun had always been a mommy's boy. He took on what his mother told him, and surpressed any unwanted affection towards boys his brain might conjure up.

Rather embarrassingly, at the age of fifteen, Renjun had had his first girlfriend, and while he was undoubtedly attracted to her, he'd almost lost his mind when he'd met her brother. He had been older than Renjun by a few years, and Renjun had thought about him while he was kissing his girlfriend more often than he'd like to admit. He knew America was different than China, so he hoped when he and his parents moved here - his sisters having all moved out, one remaining at their home in China for school - that maybe he'd feel okay liking boys and girls. That maybe his parents would become more accustomed to the idea, that maybe he could kiss boys instead of thinking about them while he was kissing girls.

He thought about how stupid and naïve he'd been then. They'd moved to a tiny town where most people's beliefs were still stuck in the dark ages. 

Becoming friends with Donghyuck was like a breath of fresh air, and Renjun was more than happy to finally meet someone else who went through the same things that Renjun did. 

But once he'd seen the looks some people gave Donghyuck, the muttered comments under their breath as they pushed past him in the halls, and the way Donghyuck constantly talked about not being able to wait until he left this town made Renjun go back on his views of the states.

He felt just as alone as he had back home.

Renjun knew he could talk to Donghyuck. He knew the younger would be perfectly okay with it and all of Renjun's internalised fear of himself, but he couldn't bring himself to talk about it, hence why he panicked so much when Donghyuck joked around about his sexuality.

Renjun jumped at the sound of the door creaking open, dragging him out of his thoughts, and watched from his seat at the back of the room as a boy walked in, bending down to peek under tables as he walked around the room.

He froze when he saw Renjun.

"Sorry uh - I didn't realise anyone was in here."

Renjun felt a laugh bubbling in his throat at the awkward look the boy took on, but he held it in as to not give off a weird first impression. He chose to shake his head instead. 

"It's fine... do you need something?"

The boy hesitated, grabbing at the straps of his backpack before nodding. "I think I left something in here earlier? Well - it's not mine, exactly."

Renjun watched as the boy shuffled in his spot, chewing on his bottom lip nervously. He thought that maybe if the boy didn't look like he was about to run away Renjun would be very attracted to him. As much as he hated to admit it, this boy was his type, minus the confident streak.

"It's a bracelet? My friends lucky charm - he dropped it."

Renjun raised an eyebrow. "Is your friend Jeno Lee?"

The boy looked like a deer caught in headlights. "No?"

Renjun put a small smile on, nodding his head in the direction of a couple of tables in front of him. "Okay well me and not Jeno Lee were sat there before lunch, so it's probably there."

The boy hesitated, shuffling over to the table, kneeling down to pick up the bracelet.

"Did Jeno make that? The pattern's nice."

The boy let a hesitant smile bloom on his face, and Renjun could feel his ears turn red. 

"I did, a while ago."

Renjun nodded, glancing down at the sketchbook in front of him. The page he was looking at was currently empty but he decided that maybe he'd stumbled upon a muse. 

"It's really pretty."

The boy nodded, and after a few seconds of silence, started towards the door. "You won't uh- Jeno and me. We're not exactly.... friends. It would be nice if you didn't tell anyone about this."

Renjun felt the pain radiating off the boy as he spoke, but he nodded, a sad smile on his face. "I get that. Your secret's safe with me..."

"Jaemin."

The name sounded vaguely familiar, but on God if it wasn't the prettiest name Renjun had ever heard. 

"Jaemin," he tried it out on his tongue. 

He loved the sound of it. "I'm Renjun."

Jaemin looked a little startled. "Jeno's mentioned you."

That surprised Renjun. "Oh... tell him I said hi."

Jaemin nodded, slipping out the door after flashing Renjun a last tiny smile.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you want to scream about nct with me, dm me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/kvncult?s=09) !! (i love making friends<3)
> 
> [spotify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1WpTbA1UbYVtlpFwthUvKL?si=1JzRHdjlRCCyvXUuy0HjOg)   
>  [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/chenjaem)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Why are you here?"
> 
> Kun raised an eyebrow, his cheeks stuffed with lucky charms. "I live here?"
> 
> Chenle glanced around, noticing no other signs of life in the house. The fear of bumping into his parents seeped out of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [spotify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1WpTbA1UbYVtlpFwthUvKL?si=1JzRHdjlRCCyvXUuy0HjOg)
> 
> [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/chenjaem)

"Okay so as most of you know, this year is a very important one."

Chenle hadn't been able to sit still since practice had started up again for the year. Jisung had tagged along to today's practice, but sat on the bleachers shaking his head at Chenle clearly bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet.

Jeno looked around at his team once Simon had gestured for him to continue the speech. 

"Both of us are graduating this year - and so are a good few of our players. Which means as well as try-outs next week we will be keeping an extra close eye on all of you. By next February we will have decided on new captains."

A murmur started up among the team, and Chenle's excited wiggling around had calmed immensely. Four months? He'd been working non stop to get noticed as captain, preferably this year, so he wouldn't just spend his last year in high school looking for another captain. He had two years left, and he'd promised his mom he'd have captain in the bag by the end of September.

The team started clearing out, heading for the changing rooms, and Chenle noticed he should probably run off if he didn't want to be late to class, but he couldn't stop the voice nagging away in his head, so he steered off in the direction of Jeno. 

The older boy was busy putting away vests for splitting teams and basketballs from warm-up earlier.

"Jeno?"

The captain hummed, glancing at Chenle before returning to his task.

"I was just curious... I thought captains were getting picked before November."

Jeno paused, his shoulders sagging as he turned to face Chenle. The blonde didn't like the look of sympathy on Jeno's face.

"They were supposed to be, but the principal wants to drag it out - announce it at the school's spring fayre or something."

Chenle felt his own shoulders sag as he dropped his eyes to stare at the floor instead. Dissapointing his mom was the last thing he wanted to do. "Ah... okay, thanks anyway."

"I put in a good word for you, but it's not just me and Simon that decide. If it was, you and Maya would be captains already."

There was hope in Chenle's chest, but it wasn't like that had ever gone away. He knew he was good - he'd been playing against kids twice his age since he was seven. He knew he didn't have to worry about making captain, but there was so much on his mom's plate right now that he didn't want to have to add a prolonged wait to know if he'd make it for sure.

He nodded, mumbling something about going to get Jisung and turned on his heel, hurrying away. 

"Hey - you're lucky I even waited for you."

Chenle couldn't help grinning at seeing his best friend waiting at the entrance to the gym. 

"I'm supposed to be working at the library next period and if I don't get the new set-up finished before Renjun comes in..." 

He trailed off and the look of fear at the thought of facing Chenle's artsy, cupcake-baking friend over something like books made him giggle. Jisung had always been the perfect distraction for Chenle, so the weight on his chest lifted.

"I've got double physics then I'm off home." 

Jisung winced, making Chenle laugh again. "Have fun with that."

Once Chenle was changed, the younger started hurrying him off to class rather quickly. 

"You wanna hang out tonight? We can go back to the lake if you want."

Jisung shook his head, a sigh escaping his lips. "Can't. I'm helping Jaemin with dinner and then he's gonna review some work with me."

Chenle nodded, but the weight was back again. 

"Okay, well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

Jisung nodded, nearly pushing him down the corridor towards his physics class. "We'll bike to school, yeah?"

Chenle plastered a grin on his face, nodding so his hair bounced into his eyes as Jisung hurried off to the library. 

Chenle's smile dropped when he saw his physics teacher glaring at him from the classroom doorway.

Chenle slipped into his house quietly, tiptoeing his way through the hall.

He'd promised his parents he'd know whether he made captain by the end of today, and really didn't want to see the dissapointed looks on their faces when they found out they'd have to wait a good few months until they knew for sure.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw Kun sitting on the kitchen counter, eating cereal straight out of the box.

"Why are you here?"

Kun raised an eyebrow, his cheeks stuffed with lucky charms. "I live here?"

Chenle glanced around, noticing no other signs of life in the house. The fear of bumping into his parents seeped out of him.

"Yeah, but, arent you supposed to be back in Chicago?"

Kun paused his crunching. "Ah... no, actually. I'm," Kun stopped to swallow and clear his throat. "I'm taking a gap year."

Chenle blinked, processing the thought. "Can you do that halfway through college?"

Kun shrugged, slipping off the counter. "It's a few months off... so much happened last year and it all got on top of me." He shuffled his feet. "My aeronautics teacher thought it would be good if I took a break."

"Did you fail your exams?"

Kun's eyes widened comically. "No- I- I didn't. I just... didn't do as well on some of them as I could have."

Chenle nodded, the two falling into silence. Normally he'd be all for teasing his big brother, but Kun actually seemed really down about this whole struggling with university thing. Kun had been a gifted kid, and now Chenle supposed the novelty might be waring off.

"Okay well... I'm probably just gonna... go to my room."

Kun cleared his throat upon noticing the awkwardness now hanging in the air. "Yeah, sure. Mom's gonna be busy tonight and I'm not sure where dad is so I'll just call you in for dinner, yeah?"

Chenle nodded, a small smile adorning his face. "Cool. I'm not eating dinner with you if its just Lucky Charms, though."

Kun blushed, pushing the box back into the cupboard. "Definitely not... I'll make hotpot or something."

Chenle nodded, shuffling his feet a little before darting off into his room. He stared at the posters of his favourite basketball stars and sighed heavily. He really hoped to be there one day, and being captain for just one year wasn't as impressive as two.

His parents didn't usually come to his games anyway, so logically what would be the harm in Chenle spinning a little white lie that he'd got the position today at school? The most he'd get would be some cake and a congratulations. Maybe some home made dumplings if his mom was feeling especially gracious.

There was nothing wrong with telling a little lie if it made his mom stop worrying about work for a little while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you want to scream about nct with me, follow or dm me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/kvncult?s=09) <3


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wouldn't deny his feelings were confused. He'd never been that good at deciding things quickly like Jaemin had, but Jisung thought that was the reason he had people in his life like Jaemin and Chenle. They balanced him out nicely.

Jisung had always hated days like these.

Days when Jaemin would be silent, wrapped up in his own thoughts despite Jisung trying to hold a conversation.

They made him feel scared, always on edge that something had happened to his cousin that he wasn't aware of. He did his routine scan of checking over Jaemin - was he covering up more than usual? Was he limping? Did he look like he'd been crying?

He seemed fine today, though. A pink thread bracelet was hanging off one wrist that Jisung hadn't seen before, but this was Jaemin. He'd often forget to mention when he'd picked things up that weren't groceries or something for Jisung. He never really bought things for himself, so they tended to be forgotten about in favour of looking after Jisung.

That made him wince as he thought about it.

They walked in silence, the soles of Jisung's shoes worn so thin he could feel the ground as though he was barefoot.

"I think I might need new shoes-."

"I'm dating Jeno Lee."

That brought Jisung to a stop. He halted so fast he nearly tripped over his own feet, his eyes wide on his face. Jaemin wasn't meeting his gaze.

"What... what do you mean you're dating Jeno Lee?"

Jaemin turned to face him from where he'd walked a few paces ahead of Jisung. "He's my boyfriend."

Jisung could see the panic in Jaemin's eyes, littered with something else he couldn't put his finger on. "Since when?"

The elder shrugged, looking down at his shoes. Jisung considered that they might both need new pairs.

"A while. We... started dating properly in summer." There was a pause. He wouldn't meet Jisung's stare, darting his eyes about to the trees and empty road around them.

"Can you not tell anyone? I thought you should know and I know I should've told you sooner I'm sorry."

Jisung nodded, promising he wouldn't tell. "It's fine. I mean - it's your secret. You didn't have to tell me at all."

Jaemin looked up at that, his eyebrows creased almost painfully in the middle of his forehead. His eyes were shining with tears and he was biting his bottom lip that way he did when he was trying to look strong in front of people.

"Jisung..." he stepped forward, wrapping his arms tightly around the younger. Jisung didn't mind the squeeze, patting his hands against Jaemin's back in an effort to soothe him.

"You're like my brother - I should tell you when things are going on with me. You always tell me when things are going on with you too, don't you?"

Jisung nodded, but he saw the moment Jaemin picked up on the audible gulp he let out.

He stepped back, his hands still on Jisung's arms. "Jisung? Is something going on?"

The crease in Jaemin's forehead was back, though not as pained this time. Worried.

Jisung shook his head, his mouth gaping. It was true that he told Jaemin everything that happened to him, but he wasn't sure how to phrase his current situation.

"Uh... just Renjun. I forgot to put away some books and now the return pile is almost as tall as him."

Jaemin raised an eyebrow, dropping his hands in favour of linking their arms together as they continued to walk. "Really? You sure?"

Jisung hesitated.

He thought about the lake, being there with Chenle. His wish. The countless wishes he'd made since he was little, and how they had changed as he had gotten older.

"How did you decide? That you liked Jeno?"

Jaemin shrugged, his bottom lip still tugged between his teeth, but now as more of a playful habit. "I'm not sure. It just kind of... hit me one day I think. I didn't really believe in all that falling in love and knowing it, but one day he helped me and I just..." Jaemin paused, a small laugh slipping out. "I just knew."

They fell into silence again, but this time it was heavy. Jisung knew it was obvious he wanted to say something, but he hadn't realised it would be this hard. That the words would get lodged in his throat when he tried to spit them out.

"Why? Is there someone you like?"

Jisung's heart was probably the loudest thing he could hear right now, hammering in his ears over the birds, and the trees rustling on either side of them, and the faint run of a river somewhere.

This shouldn't be difficult. Jaemin knew more about Jisung than he knew about himself.

"Jaemin I think I might like girls and boys."

The pause that came after that had to be the longest ten seconds of Jisung's life.

"Okay. Is that it?"

Jisung let out a heavy breath that made Jaemin giggle, and he felt his knees almost buckle with relief. "Is it okay with you?"

Jaemin was laughing now, a laugh that made Jisung feel warm and fuzzy. "Obviously it's okay with me! Jisung - I'm gay. I have a _boyfriend_. What made you think I wouldn't be okay with it?"

Jisung shrugged, his allergies making him sniffle.

"I knew you'd be okay with it... just looking for conformation."

A smile spread across Jaemin's face as he leant his head on Jisung's shoulder. "Well know that I will love you regardless of what you do, yeah? You're my family, Jisung."

He knew the 'only' was left hanging, but that was alright. They had each other, and now Jaemin had Jeno too, and Jisung had Chenle.

Chenle.

"Jaem... I think I like my best friend."

Jaemin paused at this, his lips forming a little ' _o_ '.

"Oh... have you told him?"

Jisung scoffed. " _No_ \- why would I tell him?"

The elder furrowed his brows again. "Okay... well do you _think_ or do you _know_ that you like him?"

Being truthful, Jisung wasn't sure, but he'd used his first (and maybe only) wish at the lake on Chenle, so that must mean something.

"I wished at the lake that he wouldn't treat me like his brother. I... I want him to think I'm cool - like the way you used to like Jeno."

Jaemin nodded, a small smile on his face. "You want him to like you."

Jisung's face felt warm, Jaemin automatically poking the pink tinge to his cheeks. "Yeah."

Jaemin nodded, rubbing his own cheek against Jisung's shoulder as he did. "Well... these things have a funny way of working. It might play out that no matter how many times you wish for it, it'll never happen. Or - who knows? Maybe Chenle already likes you back. You've always been fairly oblivious, Sungie."

Jisung pouted, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"I don't think he does. The only person he's ever shown interest in was Sadie in like fourth grade. And she's away in Utah or somewhere now."

Jaemin hugged Jisung's arm closer to him, picking up on the tinge of jealousy in Jisung's voice. He always did. Jaemin was possibly the most perceptive person Jisung had and ever would meet.

"He's always desperate to spend time with you."

"That's because I'm his best friend."

"Yeah, but," Jaemin paused, as though thinking over his words as they began the slight uphill climb to their house. "Renjun is his best friend too. He has friends on the basketball team. Yet every chance he gets he's spending time with you for as long as possible. I know I shouldn't get your hopes up, but Chenle loves you. Whether romantically or not, you won't find out unless you do something about your own feelings."

They were home, standing in front of the broken porch that if you didn't know about the holes in your foot would go straight through.

Jisung felt any tension in his body seep away at the sight of an empty driveway, and he noticed Jaemin visibly relaxing out the corner of his eye.

"Wanna watch some Friends reruns?"

Jaemin sighed, releasing his grip on Jisung so that only his palm was cupping the younger's elbow. "You have homework, and so do I."

Jisung hummed. "History can wait? I promise I'll get it done as soon as the episodes are done."

Jaemin hesitated as he unlocked the front door, stepping inside to toe his shoes off. "Fine. _One_ episode." He narrowed his eyes at the younger as though challenging him to argue back, but Jisung skipped into the living room, setting the TV up.

He wouldn't deny his feelings were confused. He'd never been that good at deciding things quickly like Jaemin had, but Jisung thought that was the reason he had people in his life like Jaemin and Chenle. They balanced him out nicely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [twt | kvncult](https://twitter.com/kvncult?s=09) <3 follow me here for fanart or to become friends ! or follow me here [twt | jwoogalaxy](https://twitter.com/jwoogalaxy?s=09) for drabbles/drafts/nsfw stuff <3
> 
> [spotify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1WpTbA1UbYVtlpFwthUvKL?si=1JzRHdjlRCCyvXUuy0HjOg)
> 
> [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/chenjaem)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Woah. That's pretty," he murmured and Renjun bristled, reaching to cover his sketch of a lake reflecting the sun setting and a figure that looked oddly like him standing at the shore almost automatically, but stilled to let Jaemin continue to look.
> 
> The younger heard a quiet 'thanks' before Renjun turned to take a sip of his drink.

The diner on a Thursday night was usually quiet, and Jaemin had never been so grateful to see hardly any customers there.

He limped in through the side door, tying his apron around his waist as he clocked in for his shift.

Taeil looked suspicious the second he saw him.

"Hey Jaemin. Bad leg?"

Jaemin winced, nodding as he headed out front to start wiping down the breakfast bar. "Yeah, uhm, I tripped down a few stairs earlier. It's okay, though."

Taeil raised an eyebrow from his place in the kitchen. "You need to sit out you tell me, okay? It's not busy I can handle out front."

Jaemin shook his head, sucking his bottom lip between his teeth when his leg brushed against the counter. "No - it's fine. I promise."

Taeil continued to look suspicious, but left it at that, heading further into the kitchens. It wasn't the first time Jaemin had come to work with an injury, but it had been a while. He counted down the days in his head until graduation, a habit he'd picked up recently. There was no way Jaemin would be able to go to college if he was planning to use his money to send Jisung off, so he wasn't necessarily looking forward to leaving - that wouldn't happen anytime soon - but just the thought of being free gave him something to look forward too.

"Oh - Jaemin! Hey,"

Jaemin startled at the voice, bumping his bad knee against the countertop, face flushing red when he groaned. That hurt a lot more than he thought it would.

"Oh my God - are you okay?"

Jaemin glanced up, nodding at Renjun who was leaning over the counter, hands out to steady the younger. "You sure? That... sounded sore."

God it was sore. It hurt like hell and Jaemin had to blink his eyes when they started stinging in an effort to see properly.

"Yeah, no, I'm okay... just hit a bad knee."

Renjun nodded, but his face was set in a deep frown.

Jaemin thought Renjun was too pretty to be frowning.

He plastered a smile on his face, ignoring the way his body screamed at the impact his knee had just taken.

"What can I... what can I get you?"

Renjun had seated himself on one of the bar stools, a book with blank pages spread out in front of him. He still looked concerned, chewing on his bottom lip the way Jaemin himself did as he glanced down to where Jaemin's legs were hidden under the counter.

"Uhm... a strawberry milkshake please."

Jaemin nodded, turning to grab a glass. He began to make the drink, aware of Renjun's eyes drilling holes into his back.

"If it's not too invasive... can I ask how you hurt your knee?"

Jaemin tensed up, his hands still moving automatically as he added milk and ice.

"I fell earlier, is all. My porch really needs fixed up soon," he laughed at the end, wincing as it came out clearly forced.

Renjun hummed, and Jaemin could vaguely hear the sound of him tapping his fingers against the countertop.

He turned back around while the milkshake was in the blender.

"You like this song?"

This was something Jaemin could talk about easily. The way Renjun was talking to him clearly meant he hadn't witnessed The Incident last year. Maybe he did and he's just a nice person, a little voice muttered at the back of his head.

A slow smile spread onto Renjun's face. "Yeah, it's nice."

Jaemin nodded, his own lips quirking up into a soft grin as he got back to work on Renjun's milkshake.

"It's called _Hey Lover._ By a 60's girl group - The Daughters of Eve? My manager wanted the diner to be really authentic, he loves music from the '60s."

He placed the milkshake in front of Renjun, finished off with extra cream and two strawberries, because Renjun seemed like a really nice person and Jaemin kind of hoped maybe he'd stick around.

The smile on Renjun's face was definetly worth the minimum wage he was getting payed to make these drinks.

"Jaemin? There's a group needing served."

He turned at the sound of Taeil's voice, who nodded his head toward the opposite side of the diner from the bar, and Jaemin shuffled off, passing behind Renjun as he went.

"Woah. That's pretty," he murmured and Renjun bristled, reaching to cover his sketch of a lake reflecting the sun setting and a figure that looked oddly like him standing at the shore almost automatically, but stilled to let Jaemin continue to look.

The younger heard a quiet 'thanks' before Renjun turned to take a sip of his drink.

Jaemin tried his best to hide his limp as he made his way over to the sounds of a ruckus in their corner booth.

Jaemin's heart rattled in his chest when he caught sight of Jeno in the middle of his friends from different sports teams at their school, the only one without a varsity jacket that Jaemin knew was hanging in his wardrobe right about now.

"Are you ready to order?"

Some brunette kid that Jaemin didn't know the name of but who was sporting a jacket with a football patch stitched onto the sleeve turned to face him, grinning widly when he recognised Jaemin.

"Well well well. Look who it is."

Jaemin cleared his throat, glancing around awkwardly. "Can I get your order?"

"Why you working here, Na? Your boyfriend stop paying you?"

Jaemin caught Jeno frowning, tensing in his seat.

Mark Lee beat him to it.

"Hey man," he nudged the kid that had spoken up. "You know that wasn't Jaemin."

The brunette grinned, shrugging. "I don't know. Looked all slim like him. Doesn't he like that gay shit?"

There was a thud under the table and the laughter ceased, the boy groaning and reaching for his leg, looking around for the cause.

Jeno was glaring right at him, and Jaemin could feel his heart drop to his stomach.

"Everything okay here?"

Jaemin jumped when Renjun appeared at his side, a diner apron tied loosely around his waist, and his arms crossed tightly against his chest.

"Yeah," Mark said, shoving at the one who had insulted Jaemin to get up. He glanced at Jeno knowingly, who was now too busy staring at Jeno who was watching Jaemin with a silent you okay? in his eyes. "We were just leaving."

Most of the group shuffled out, and Jaemin kept his head down until they'd passed, leaving Jeno in the booth who'd said something about dropping his wallet under the table.

"You good?" He asked once his friends were out of sight, reaching a hand out for Jaemin.

The youngest nodded, sighing as he dropped his shoulders from where they'd been hunched up.

"Yeah. They'll never let it go, I suppose. Small town things."

Renjun was glancing between them, and Jeno shuffled back from his boyfriend when he acknowledged that a third party was still there.

"It's okay," Jaemin said quietly, brushing a hand against Jeno's arm. "I know I told you to avoid me, but it's only Renjun. I'm pretty sure he knows."

Renjun nodded, a soft smile on his face. "You're good at hiding it, but I've got the eyes of a yīng."

Jaemin didn't bother asking what that meant. Renjun's voice was something else when he spoke in Mandarin, and he could feel the giddiness radiating off of him and Jeno, who was smiling all goofily at Renjun's expression.

"But... can I ask..." Renjun said, tugging the apron off, his expression darkening, "what that was about?"

Jaemin sighed, glancing around to make sure that they were the only people within the diner, Taeil in the back probably wondering where the group's order had gone, before he spoke up.

"Some photos were spread last year. Printed out around our school. They claimed it was me in them." He felt Jeno's hand slip into his. "Then a rumour started up that I'd been payed to do that, take photos of myself I mean. I never was, but that's how it got out that I was into guys. I always denied it, but I feel kinda bad. A similar thing happened to someone else and he just... took it. Accepted that he was outed. I think it was the same people."

Jaemin shook his head. "I've stopped telling people I'm not gay because they've all come to the conclusion that those fake rumours were true anyway. I had Jeno to support me behind the scenes, but I kind of wish I'd been there for the other boy. He had it worse than me."

"Who was he?" Renjun asked, frowning.

"Donghyuck Lee?"

Renjun's mouth fell open in acknowledgement. "I didn't realise he'd been outed like that, too. He's my friend."

Jaemin shrugged. "People here are horrible. I've heard that Donghyuck's planning to move to New York though. That'll be better for him."

"What about you?" Renjun questioned, glancing between Jeno and Jaemin's intertwined hands and their faces.

"I'll probably be here forever," Jaemin said, but Jeno shook his head.

"We're gonna go some place much better. Where we can be happy. You planning to stay?"

Renjun shook his head too, a sad little smile stretching across his face. "Getting out of here as soon as possible too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I put this fic on hold for many months and I’m honestly annoyed at myself that I did. I’m really hoping that I can continue it from here. Here’s an updated chapter written today 💖
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/kvnzeus?s=09)
> 
> [spotify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1WpTbA1UbYVtlpFwthUvKL?si=1JzRHdjlRCCyvXUuy0HjOg)
> 
> [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/chenjaem)

**Author's Note:**

> if you want to scream about nct with me, dm me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/kvncult?s=09) !! (i love making friends<3)
> 
> [spotify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1WpTbA1UbYVtlpFwthUvKL?si=2GPnBaomQCaNb2RlXD6M4A)


End file.
